Tuesday 12 March 2013

Unable to sleep?


Recently  I visited my cousin who is staying in Johor Bahru.  I have not met her for many years.  My cousin is near to 70 years old.  She is not so healthy and so is her husband, Alex.  Alex is 72 years old.  He looks weak and tired.  He cannot sleep well at night but always wake up in the middle of night.  He finds hard to fall asleep too.  So every night he will spend time doing Chinese brush writing copying the Psalms in Bible.  This is one of the ways to make himself tired and sleepy.  During the day he cannot drive alone as he sometimes dozes of in the midst of driving.  The lack of sleep makes him weak and tired.
Many years ago I also suffered from the same kind of sickness.  I was busy working, taking care of  my family.  I did quite a lot of part time job at the same time.  I could not take the pressure and one day I reached my breakdown point.  I felt giddy and could not concentrate my mind.  The doctor said I suffered from anxiety.
Since then I was always in tension even though the surrounding was peaceful.  I could not calm myself even though everything was going on fine.  I found hard to fall asleep.  It was my first time taking sleeping pill.  When I took the first sleeping pill I felt nice as if I was sinking deep into the ocean.  Soon I fell asleep.  But then I knew I could not depend on sleeping pills.  I need to get over it in a natural way.
The tension in my mind tortured me.  Outwardly I looked alright but inside me was terrible.  I dreaded the news of mentally sick patient jumping down from tall building.  I worried I would go mad.  It was one of the worst kind of sickness.  The doctor told me that this sickness could not be healed completely because it will reoccur under pressure.  What a negative statement that sentenced me to death.
I began to read up many articles concerning this type of sickness to find out ways to get out of it.  Everyday I worried about getting to sleep at night.  Sometimes I could not sleep till the morning.  I drank milk every night as milk helped a lot.  Another way of calming myself was attending the praise and worship church services at night.  It helped even more.
When I started to serve God full time in discipleship training centre the sickness was gone completely.  Everyday I was so busy doing work and helping people in the community.  I worked until I was so tired.  I fell asleep straightway when I lied down to bed.  The problem then was not unable to sleep but craving for more sleep.  I had to wake up for early morning prayer everyday.
The feeling of that sickness did come back once or twice.  Instead of harboring the fear of madness I confronted it literally.  I told myself,'So what if I go mad.  Let it be.'  Then I realized that I have overcome the fear and soon the feeling of sickness coming back was gone.
If I believe in what that doctor told me I will always be in the same condition.  Thank God He has healed me and helped me to overcome the negative feeling.  I could cope with pressure and it did not make me sick again.

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